I retired a year short of the mandatory 60 yrs of age for voluntary redundancy.
There were no send off parties, no service tokens, no speeches, and no singing of the usual “For he’s a jolly good fellow… “
Though I missed the guys I worked with for 18 years, missed the job, but there was no love lost between I and the new management culture which was becoming more untenable by the day.
After picking up my redundancy check, I faded into the blue, like a thief in the night getting away with the loot unnoticed and undetected.
In a sense, I envy you if you retired the usual way – marching out of your employment amid the blare of trumpets and the beat of drums, with a rain of confetti fit for a 4th of July parade.
But whichever way we retire, yours or mine, retirement always brings the same question:
What now?
What is retirement?
Each time I am asked of my employment status I always struggle saying, “retired.” I have problems understanding the word in more specific terms. For me, to be “retired,” is more of a concept than a state.
It is more like a change in phase and pace.
Water tuning to ice or iron ore to iron ingot are changes in phase, both of which find different uses from their original states.
Michael Jordan still plays basketball at a slower pace now that he’s retired from the NBA.
Get me?
My coffee buddies are all seniors, yet still actively doing something – either with their businesses, albeit, at a slower pace, or other endeavors to keep them busy.
We are at an age with unlimited choices and tools to give the word, “retired,” a different meaning than a generation ago.
Not only is “completely-doing-nothing” retirement common ages ago not an option these days, it also raises the possibility of getting medical problems that come with aging.
An article in slideshare.com shows the following medical risks happening within the first 6 years of complete retirement:
* 5-16% increase in difficulties of mobility and daily activities;
* 5-6% increase in illness conditions;
* 6-9% decline in mental health;
* 41% increase the probability of having clinical depression;
* 63% increase in the probability of being diagnosed with a physical condition;
* 60% increase in the probability of taking a drug for such conditions;
If the above is a report card, a lot of retirees will get failing grades.
These, however, tend to be mitigated if the retiree is still married or has social support, continues to engage in physical activity, or has a part-time job, or something to occupy himself.
In the absence of such measures, he is faced with the real possibility of spending on expensive drugs at a time when he can least afford it.
Not a very good way of spending your retirement days, is it?
Retirement can be fun:
“Wow, you are retired? How wonderful!” is the normal reaction I get from people when they know that I am.
Well, they can never be more off the mark. Unless you have a built a hefty nest egg during your working days (which a lot of retirees have not, including me), it is never fun to live off a retirement paycheck that barely covers the basics.
And if you are a widower and your kids are married and have gone out of the house leaving you alone the entire day, it is never wonderful. In fact it sucks. It is plain depressing to stay in the house by yourself all day long.
But life must go on. We must survive. We have to come up with strategies to get us through; we improvise, if need be.
Over the years I have observed these six strategies have helped me enjoy life without having to spend a fortune on drugs (except for a multi-vitamin and an anti-hypertension drug, I take no other).
These are:
1. Don’t talk about your medical problems with others:
Unless you are in an Alcoholic Anonymous meeting, talking about your medical problems is the surest way of driving people away.
People are interested in their problems, not yours. So talk of other things when with people, not your ills and pills.
I have a friend who loved to talk of his health and wealth in his glory days. Then he got diabetes. Later on, he had a stroke which greatly impaired him. I empathized with him for a while until I couldn’t take it anymore. No matter what we talked about, he always managed to squeeze in his medical problems.psychiatry medical billing
Now I make myself scared each time I see him around.
2. Let go of regrets and grudges:
We all have regrets for missed opportunities and disappointments and petty grudges against people who, we thought, wronged us in the past.
Carrying that baggage around in your retirement days is not the best way to enjoy life.
Seniors are a sentimental and melancholy lot and they love to dwell on things that could no longer be changed.
Let go before you go into depression or unnecessarily wearing and tearing your old heart with feelings of animosity towards others.
Let go and let loose before expensive drugs do it for you.
3. Be with people who make you happy:
Socializing is one of the most effective hedge against depression and other age-related diseases. But not just with anybody.
Socialize with those who can make you happy and feel good about life.
Of course it is easier said than done. More often than not, they are not there when you need them the most. So be there when the occasion arises.
My coffee buddies are an interesting lot. They have seen much in life and full of funny stories of a lot of things, especially about their wives.
Most have experienced how it is to be a battered husband, and a few have not-so-perfect children. And we compare funny notes about these things.
I stick around when the mood is jolly. But when talk wanders into politics and graft and corruption, I will surreptitiously retreat from the group.
They know my stand on these issues and they respect me for that. For that, I respect them in return.
Things are not always that lively. But at the end of the day, I go home with a smile for having a couple of hours being with people I know and enjoy being with.
4. Follow your heart:
If you’ve reached this far, it is safe to assume that for the good part of your life you have worked your butt off to support the needs of the family. You were doing something for others, albeit, the people you love.
Now that you’re retired, you have all the time and the privilege to do whatever you want. For yourself.
Take up a hobby. Travel or take a girlfriend (if you are single). Make a bucket list and start doing them.
Pack your backpack with things to support you for a day or two in a mountain cabin, or an island resort.
You need not be with other people. A solitary sabbatical is often good to recharge your spirit, give you a better perspective of the remaining days of your life.
Every now and then, I do just that – go to an island and spend an evening in a nice beach resort with nothing but the sea, the wind, and the sky to immerse myself in.
Just don’t forget your pill box and your physician’s telephone number.
5. Love yourself:
Each morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “God am I handsome.”
Well maybe not in the literal sense of the word. The years have a cruel way of ravaging our bodies. Eye bags appear from nowhere, wrinkles on our foreheads, crows’ feet at the corner of our eyes, and furrows between them, and our neck, hands, are marred with wrinkles from all that hard labor we did in our younger days.
But if you cannot love what you see in the mirror, don’t expect others to feel differently. Feeling good and happiness start from within, not without.
Retirement is a constant process of positive reinforcement to be enjoyable and productive.
A few months after my wife died, I went to see a doctor for depression. After the usual interview of the circumstances of my medical problem, he gave me a prescription for an anti-depressant drug which I have to take twice a day, for thirty days.
I went to the drugstore to buy it and immediately got a jolt in my life. It was very expensive. At any rate, I bought enough just for two days.
I went home and started taking them. At the same time, I did some algebra and came up with a figure well beyond what I am willing to spend for. I also debated with myself if taking it was necessary or not.
The negative side won.
Without being too clinical about it, I reasoned that depression is the fruit of depressing thoughts. Change your thoughts and you get rid of depression.
I know a lot of you might take this too simplistic an approach to a problem a lot of people struggle with. Some have lost their lives because of it, while a lot are institutionalized for depressive behaviors.
It was not easy at first. It required a singularity of purpose, of a strong desire to live my life drug-free.
I won and have never enjoyed my retirement life as I have enjoyed it now. I enjoy it so much that I won’t to exchange it for something else.